Menopause
Manners for Men
by Valerie Otto
If over 30 million women are going through
menopause, think of what the men are going through!
Menopause is not what it used to be. Women are approaching this time of
life differently—the new outlook is energized as most women are healthy
and become free of many past identities and responsibilities. A
natural option like Oöna is one I know many women will find valuable in
dealing with the bothersome symptoms at this time and I’m hoping to see
more women incorporate another valuable and natural ally crucial in making
this next stage truly exciting—our men! But we can’t do it
alone. So based on our completely unscientific research, here are tips I
hope our better half will find useful.
1. Be ready for emergencies. This doesn’t require dialing 911, but you
still have to move fast. Sometimes the symptoms of menopause may
require your loved one to exit quickly. Don’t ask questions at the time,
there is nothing worse than having to explain yourself in these
situations—she’ll be sure to tell you later. Just do what she says and
move out of the way.
2. Put yourself in her heels. Imagine what it would be like to potentially
go through times of sleepless nights, hot flashes, sweats, memory loss.
Are you going to be in a great mood all the time? I don’t think
so. Think of what this would do to any one’s psyche. And yes, there are
options available to her to help with this, including natural ones like Oöna
and flowers (no carnations).
3. Your marriage is not falling apart. Although you should be ready for a
fundamental change. For a period of time, your spouse may seem, well,
“not like herself”. This may be demonstrated in any number of ways.
She may seem more needy, more vocal, more stubborn, and more emotional. Do
not discount this experience. Big tip, men, embrace her, understand that
this roller coaster “shall pass” and use it as an opportunity to bring
you closer. If you listen, you will be able to sort through what is
important to your relationship and open up a healthy discussion.
4. Sex? It still exists. Just don’t panic. While her sex drive may dip a
bit, it doesn’t have to be dormant. Now there are many ways to deal with
it. Be resourceful, be creative, keep it fun, and don’t be judgmental or
rush to conclusions.
5. Men-O-Pause—men just pause, stop—look at your life. Just like she
is doing. Menopause is a time where a woman really takes a look at
her life and her health—not only because she feels her body changing.
It isn’t a bad idea for you either. Use it as an incentive to add some
“newness” to your life—like getting in shape for a long bike trip or
make a habit of taking long morning or evening walks.
6. Don’t be a smart ass…Educate yourself, do some research, read some
books, go on line. Impress her with the new lingo. Just think how
impressed your partner would be if you knew that the reason she was having
hot flashes is most likely because her LH levels are high. Her mood
swings can be managed. But can yours? For her, there’s natural products
out there but for you…find some!
7. The Big “M”—do men go through menopause too? In a way, YES!
Actually it’s called “andropause”, and while it happens more
gradually than it does with women it is defined as a decrease in male
hormones. In his book, "Male Menopause," author, Jed Diamond
said the phase "begins with hormonal, physiological and chemical
changes that occur in all men generally between the ages of 40 and 55,
though it can occur as early as 35 or as late as 65. Common symptoms of
male menopause, according to Diamond, include needing longer to recover
from injuries and illness, less endurance for physical activity, weight
gain, thinning hair, sleep disturbances, irritability, and reduced
interest in sex.. SO don’t be so judgmental!
8. Feeling alone? The kids, we hope have moved out. It all seems to be
happening at the same time. And while most of us, both men and
women, look forward to our freedoms sans kids; it’s still an enormous
adjustment. Can our kids survive without us? Can I survive
Menopause? The answer is to pull it together and turn this into a time to
experience a new beginning.
9. Duck and Cover! That means pass her off to her friends. This is a great
time to encourage her to seek out women’s groups, new relationships and
old friends going through the same thing. Let them take over the kitchen,
the couch and the TV. You’ll be much happier in the morning.
10. Keep your sense of humor It’s not nice to say but a lot of the
experiences in menopause can be funny… if not at the moment, certainly a
week or a month later. If you can make her laugh and see the lighter side,
know you are doing your part in setting the course for a beautiful sunset
together. She won’t laugh if it’s insincere. Enough said.
____________________
Valerie Otto has long been involved in
issues of women’s health and well-being. In 1995, she founded
Becoming, Inc., a mail order fashion house that answers the specific needs
of women who’ve undergone cancer treatment. Becoming, Inc. is now
the largest mail order company of its kind in America. Oöna her new
venture offers a natural alternative to hormonal replacement therapy for
women experiencing menopause.
www.oonausa.com