On
Saying “No”
by Dr. Trish Whynot
How
hard it is for us to say, “no.”
Such a simple
word, only 2 letters, but the sound is so difficult
to utter.
How many times has your mind said “no,”
but your mouth
said yes?
Let’s
ponder for a moment over the possible intentions that are energetically
attached to the “yes” response. Guilt,
anger, manipulation, resentment, and of course, “love” are all
possible intentions that may be attached to the “yes” response.
Love is the only appropriate energy that should be attached.
We should only say “yes” out of love.
When said out of fear we send inappropriate energy, “negative
energy,” with our response. The
intention of our response is therefore, meant to hurt the other person.
Negative energy hurts, no matter how sugar coated it is.
We
have been taught that if you do something for someone, give of yourself,
they in turn will be there for you. Does
this always work for you? Probably
not, and when it doesn’t we resent the other person because we didn’t
really want to help them, but did it as a one upmanship, so that they in
turn, would owe us. This is
manipulation; giving in an effort to get a desired response.
If you are the type of person who gives and gives and gives and
then gets tired when it is not reciprocated, you need to look at the
intention behind your giving. If it
were out of love, there would be no strings attached and the other person
would feel that love, and be more likely to want to love back and
be there for you. If it was saying
“yes” out of ‘fear of love being withdrawn if you said “no”’,
one of the negative intentions, guilt, anger, manipulation, or resentment,
would be attached to your "yes," and you can be sure the other
person wouldn’t want to reciprocate, unless of course they, too,
were fear-based in their actions. In
this instance the basis for the relationship may be control, and/or
co-dependency, with both partners remaining in the relationship out of
fear rather than out of love.
Now,
would you rather give a loving “no,” or a hurtful “yes”?
“Live
more, love more, ... be more with
Dr. Trish Whynot.
____________________
Trish
Whynot, D.C.Ed is a Doctor of C.O.R.E. Education, specializing in ASAT™
C.O.R.E. Counseling. She utilizes
meditation, energy work, aromatherapy and crystals in her alternative
approach to wellness in Middleton, MA, and can be reached at 978.314.4545
or visit her website at www.TrishWhynot.com
Read
the article OfSpirit.com's editor, Bob Olson, wrote about Dr. Trish Whynot
here
