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Declare
Independence From Fear
by Thom Rutledge, Author of Embracing Fear
The belief that we can think and act in such a way that fear will be
banished from our lives is a dangerous fairy tale, a fiction that
contaminates personal responsibility and leads to reckless reactivity or
paralysis. As long as we cling to the need to send our fears into exile,
as long as we insist that the goal is to be fear-free, as long we believe
that there is such a thing as complete reassurance, we are in trouble.
Life cannot be lived—at least not lived fully—without experiencing
fear. Fear is not an obstacle standing between you and the life you want
to live; it is an integral part of that life. Fear is to be faced, not
avoided. Attempting to side step fear is like skipping class: you can do
it if that's what you choose, but you will not be making it to the next
grade level. (unless, of course, you are a star athlete)
Stop ducking your fears. Make a list of them instead. Start the list today
and keep it handy. Add to the list as you become aware of more fears.
There is no shame in having fear. It is as much a human characteristic as
having skin or breathing air. Don't waste your time debating whether or
not your fear "should" exist, or whether or not "it makes
sense." These are just stall tactics and will only contribute to the
paralysis.
Fear is a teacher, not the enemy. Go back to your list of fears from time
to time, select a fear on the list and ask yourself, "What can I
learn from this fear?" And let yourself—encourage yourself—to
become curious about how you might be different after you have learned
that lesson.
Expect the next fear—aka: challenge—to follow with another lesson.
Don't fool yourself into thinking you can bar the door. Fear is already on
this side of the door with you. Put an end to your internal bigotry
against fear. Accept your fears as a natural part of the community of
thoughts you call "I."
Let fear bring you into closer alignment with what you value most. Don't
let fear strip you of, or make you violate what you believe in.
Greet your fears rather than hide from them. Interview them rather than
ignoring them. Converse with your fears, listen to your fears, and
challenge your fears. Don't automatically accept what they say. Disagree
with your fears, and don't always let them have the last word.
Declare your independence from fear. Understand that independence does not
mean the absence of fear. It means that you become capable of living in
peace with your fears. When you no longer have the need to hide from, get
rid of, or ignore your fears, you will be living a life that is
instructed, but not controlled, by fear.
Have fear, acknowledge fear, listen to fear, learn from fear, and never
let fear do your thinking for you.
Always remember that it is how we live, not that we live that matters
most.
_____________________
Thom Rutledge is the author of Embracing
Fear & Finding the Courage to Live Your Life (HarperSanFrancisco).
For more information call (615) 327-3423, e-mail thomrutledge@earthlink.net,
or visit http://www.thomrutledge.com.
Book Thom as the keynote speaker for your
next event: Thom Rutledge is an inspirational and entertaining speaker. He
has been called "The Most Entertaining Tour Guide Along The Road Less
Traveled."
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Embracing
Fear & Finding the Courage to Live Your Life on
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