This was my ninth time to the Land of the Ancient Inca, and by my own admission, it was to be my last. I had gone in journey’s past as neophyte, as student, as teacher and as p’aqo. What had brought me there the first time was a repetitious dream from childhood; and the encouragement, if not down right insistence by one of my long time Indigenous ‘Grandmothers’, my Seneca mentor Gram Twylah, to ‘seek further’.

What was bringing me this "last" time was the repeated prodding of some of my students for them to have their own opportunity to seek further. I perceived this journey to be a "full circle" of studies with my various Andean teachers over the past fourteen years on the Andean Mystical Path. One of my dear Peruvian mentors, a brother and teacher/kurak of this path, a man of great knowledge and integrity, Juan Nunez del Prado was to guide this expedition with me.

My immersion into the Andean Mystical tradition on past journeys was a vehicle for me to continue to heal, to grow and learn personally and spiritually about my Self. My introduction to the ‘Native’ Path had begun years prior through books and workshops, out of interest and curiosity. In part perhaps because I had been mistakenly "advised" by my high school guidance counselor, that anthropology and archeology were things "girls just didn’t do" and my need to rebel against that concept.

Later in my very early thirties, it became a way to reconnect with life itself, understanding a plan larger and more connected to God, life and Self as I experienced the loss of my first daughter. My feet were put to ‘a path’ by a series of female Native American mentors who sought me out, and guided me through my profound grief, bringing me out the other side with a fuller, more meaningful respect for, and belief in, Great Mystery (there are many ways to express the ‘essence of God’); the healing world of nature; energy in it’s ever changing, ever manifesting forms; and the ability to heal, and in fact grow, from deep personal wounded ness.

This would lay a foundation over many years, for me to use these ‘lessons’ as workshop facilitator, psychotherapist, healer and p’aqo (a person who has been initiated into, and practices the Andean mystical path)--offering to others, what had been offered to me. In the Andean tradition this ‘giving back’ is referred to as ayni. What I had experienced with the grace and gentleness of all my mentors, as well as their tougher lessons and directives to, "look within", was spirit healing.

Ayni is reciprocity, or the exchange of energy, teacher to student, person to person. The goal of any p’aqo, medicine person, shaman is to walk with perfect ayni through all your relationships: relationships to Nature and the cosmos; family relationships (both biological and global); and in its utmost simplicity and most profoundly difficult, relationship with the true Self--both its light and dark sides.

Spirit Healing, from the perspective of my teachers, is not necessarily curing disease or preserving life in some specific form; it is living your life fully, in alignment with the spiritual and unexplainable, as well as where you find yourself in your every day life--utilizing compassion, awareness and personal responsibility. To be a p’aqo is to live in service, not in servitude; to take responsibility but not to be responsible for everything; to be grateful for the awareness that life brings you; and to let your ‘heart work’ connect you to and guide you down your Earthpath.

Where I found ‘myself in life’ as I brought these seekers to this beautiful, diverse, ancient land of the Inca, was not living truly, where I was meant to be on my personal path. Gram often pointed out that "Spirit would allow you only so long to be where you weren’t supposed to be, and then It would have to show you otherwise". Gently or harshly, the path was committed to you only if you were committed to the path.

I had learned that over and over again through the years, that at its most basic, it’s up to you. I came on this ‘last’ journey unconscious of a personal confrontation I needed desperately to experience for another deep healing within myself, and a return to what I deem as my sacred path, one I had pledged myself to years back.

I had left quite a large practice as therapist and ‘healer’, three years ago and moved to another state. Shortly after arriving and being confronted with a reality that did not mirror my expectations, my only brother became one of those blessed souls on one of the planes in the great tragedy we have come to refer to as 9/11. I could not fully embrace the work I had been trained so long for, and had earned the right to offer, as I could not seem to raise above the ‘fog’ of anger and frustration at life’s unfairness.

I found myself in Peru in this limiting mind-set, though I had convinced myself that I was bringing these faithful students on a journey they had requested, as a final gift of ayni to them for their trust in me. Once again, in what I have lovingly come to refer to as yet ‘another awakening to humility’ and a further lesson from the All That Is, the journey these students had insisted on, gave me back a piece of myself, and set my feet back to my path once again. It is less important how that happened personally for me, but that it happened fully within me. It was my students’ ayni back to me, the land’s ayni for my trust in Her, and my mentor Juan’s ayni for my faith in the path.

I had come back to Peru and I had also come home to what feeds me--my soul work. I had recovered a renewed motivation of my heart’s work— to teach and counsel with others, all I have learned following my personal walk using the teachings and guidance of my mentors on this wondrous path called life. My desire to assist others as they explore their personal terrain in shared communion, reviewing the pain and joy of life, to gain a new perspective.

I had covered both personal and awe inspiring surface terrain on this visit. The rocks of the Andes, the stones along the rocky paths and those that make the magnificent ruins of towns and ancient structures, are seen as the ‘bones’ of the Pachamama, Mother Earth. The Natives believe certain stones, and these ancient sites can help us heal, by imparting light energy or absorbing dense energies, from the fabric of our energetic light body. These stones represent the structure of Her bones. Being in the vibration and structure of Her bones had touched me deeply to my very bones. Our hearts and spirit had touched, and communicated, stone to bone.

The land of Peru, the Andean Mystical path, the Q’ero elders who so respectfully bridge the spiritual and the undomesticated on Pachamama, at the base of the Apus, the mountains, and those People who live to share the gifts of the Sachamama, the Amazon jungle are by no means the only vehicle to experience a healing of one’s spirit. I still, as do we all, have to choose between wounded ness and life in a larger context in order to bring our personal experiences ‘home’.

The ultimate balance, through belief, is Spirit’s healing within our life. You do not need to go to the mountains or the jungle to find it. You do not need to be a p’aqo or work within an Indigenous culture to find it. It is in you, and all around you, each and everyday if you wish to ‘receive’, surrender your wounds, and shift your perceptions.

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