Loving
The Work That You Do
by Nisandeh Neta
I must complete this article. I've been pre-occupied with it for a couple of weeks now and tonight, is
the deadline. I have to make it. My stress level is rising, and I have become impatient, irritated and
angry.
A while ago I chose to add this monthly
writing task to my job description. At that time, it was exciting, challenging and fun.
Yet, all of a sudden it became stressful, demanding and burdensome.
We can all relate to similar
situations. When this is an occasional occurrence, we can somehow handle it.
However, when we experience this on a regular basis, we become
increasingly negative toward our work, until it manifests in our
professional results as well as our emotional, mental and physical health.
We tend then to blame everybody and
everything else. "My partner doesn't contribute enough." "These
are unachievable standards." "There is not enough space for me to express myself."
"The weather is depressing." Anything... but me.
Unfortunately, it rarely improves the
situation. It usually makes it worse. I receive less support from my partner.
The quality of my work declines. I feel increasingly constrained. And the weather... is even
worse.
So, after struggling with myself (and
everybody else) for a few days, I chose to do a 'reality check' by asking
some real questions:
Who chose this work? - I did.
Who set the deadline (or at least agreed to it)? - I did.
Who set the standards? - Me again.
I also chose my partner, created my working environment and bought this
damn computer that keeps making spelling mistakes. It seems that the weather is the only factor I didn't create, but it
doesn't seem to bother my daughter, who is dancing happily in the rain
wearing her new boots.
Now, I couldn't remain in my victim role.
I know I have another choice. In actuality, more than one. I could stop with this article and let somebody else write it.
I could ask some friends to brainstorm with me. I could share my impasse with my partner and receive her support.
I could choose for another job, another partner, another computer. I could go out and skip in the puddles with my daughter.
I reclaimed the personal responsibility for
my own situation. If I choose now to stay stuck, at least I know there are other
possibilities. It is my choice - no reason to complain, to blame or to feel guilty.
If you find yourself in a similar
situation, why don't you try this method? First do a reality check. Realize that in the end you are ultimately responsible for your situation.
Either for the results in your life (now and in the past) or for your
reactions to these results. The next step is to realize that if you have created your past and present
situations, you also have the power to create your future situation. Make a choice in the present to create your future results and actions.
