Acceptance
by M. Dennis
Paul, Ph.D.
Once the Master was at prayer. The disciples came up to him and requested
he teach them how to pray. He responded, "Two men were once walking
through a field. Suddenly, they saw a huge bull charging at them. They
made for the nearest fence with the bull in hot pursuit. It became very
evident that they would not make the fence in time. One shouted to the
other, ‘We’ve had it! Nothing will save us. Say a prayer!’.
The other shouted back that he had never prayed and could not think of a
prayer. The first shouted, ’It doesn’t matter! Anything
will do!’ His partner, now panting, recalled what his father used to
say at dinner and shouted, ‘For what we are about to receive, dear Lord,
make us truly grateful.'"
Acceptance is, perhaps, one of the most difficult concepts for us to
understand. For many, it implies that we must agree with something. In a
sense, this is quite true. It is not, however, wholly true. We can accept
something as it is, yet not agree that it should be so. We accept that
taxes exist yet most, I think, do not agree with taxes. Acceptance, to
some, implies resignation. This, too, is true, but not entirely true. While we
may be resigned to paying taxes, certainly we can work toward eliminating
them.
Acceptance is the beginning of a process of growing. It is the beginning
of allowing peace into our hearts and happiness into our existence. To
begin practicing acceptance, we must look upon those around us, and at the
world, without judgment. We must also begin to look at ourselves in the
same manner. We do not have to agree with the morals, values, or attitudes
of others, nor do we have to agree with any particular event occurring in
the world. We can see the beauty in ourselves, others, and the world and
still recognize areas we wish to improve.
Acceptance represents freedom from judgmentalism. We begin to see things
as they are, yet remain free to prefer change. This does not mean that we
must work to change others, however. We do not need to coerce or
manipulate. We are free to lovingly discuss our preferences and we are
free to seek compromise. We are also free to accept that no change will
occur and seek alternative avenues for dealing with a particular reality.
We cease to demand that others, and the world, be as we want.
Acceptance represents cessation of resistance to thoughts and events that
occur in our lives. We begin to appreciate that events occur as they do
and that thoughts and feelings arise as they will. We no longer expend
enormous energy repressing our thoughts and feelings and we cease denying
what is right before us. Practicing this, we begin to see opportunity to
work with what occurs. Recognizing that our thinking creates how we feel,
we see opportunity to think, and thus feel differently. Recognizing
that how we view a particular circumstance is more important than the
circumstance itself, we open ourselves to viewing circumstances more
clearly and acting upon them more wisely.
Sometimes, we must accept that we are resisting. It is from this
recognition that we begin to move toward greater acceptance.
As the above parable suggests, we may not like what is, or what is about to
happen, however, we must accept it and, even more, be grateful that it
presents itself to us. We recognize that in every moment, things are just
as they should be.
____________________
Rev. Dr. M. Dennis Paul offers over
12 years experience in Counseling & Mediation for Individuals,
Couples, & Families. Specializing in Thought Addiction, Spirituality,
Grief & Loss, Stress & Anger Management, Marital & Family
Discord, Gender & Sexuality, and Addictions. Dr. Paul utilizes the
simple and successful "Creative Happiness" program developed by
Don Botten, Ph.D. as well as Meditation, Co-meditation, and other
awareness & self-realization programs. He is located at RR2 Box 172,
Old Miller Rd., Windsor, NH 03244. For appointment call 603-478-3664 or
email mdp@gsinet.net. Visit his
website at http://sites.netscape.net/mdennispaul/homepage.