Dancing
With God: Fitness and Transformation
by Linda
Marks
When I met my colleague, Del
Millers, at the Body Wisdom Conference in San Bernardino, California, this
past March, I just knew I had met a special soul. He was boldly creating a
presence at his conference booth with large photos of himself and the
cover of his new book, Dancing With God, and making himself available to
conference attendees. And yet, there was a softness and sincerity that was
just as striking as the power of the presence he was creating.
The title of his book grabbed me like a
soul hook. Dance has always been a central part of my life. Dance is the
way my life force finds its fullest expression. Dance provides me the
richest experience of joy as my soul moves both its softness and full
power in my body. The physical is indeed the temple that holds the
spiritual. And here was someone whose language, whose experience and whose
work spoke to this very sacred truth. Del Millers is turning 33 years old
as this article comes to press. He lives in Los Angeles and helps people
achieve physio-spiritual fitness in his fitness training and counseling
practice. His educational background is pretty wide, having started off
with an engineering degree at Columbia, continuing with studies in Eastern
philosophy, exercise physiology and spiritual psychology and having
practiced martial arts since he was twelve years old.
Physio-Spiritual Fitness
"Physio-spiritual fitness is really
equivalent to learning to move the spirit through the body in order to
connect deeply with the soul," says Del. "There are several
pieces involved in this. The first is learning how to become aware of what
we are doing, paying close attention to the little details. That will keep
our minds occupied with what we are doing rather than other things we
could be thinking about."
Del continues, "People exercising
think of all the things they could be doing — the dinner they
could be making, what they could do with their kids, their project at
work... By having their thoughts somewhere else, they are not really
present. The process of quieting the mind is learning how to get
present."
For Del, getting present means making the
connection with spirit "When I talk about spirit. I'm talking about
the universal energy flowing through my body," Del explains. To get
to the point where I am aware of spirit, the energy, or in Chinese
terminology, the chi, flowing through my body, I need to get to the
point where I am developing a certain breathing rhythm. Developing that
breathing rhythm allows spirit or energy to flow through the breath. And
as I am able to work with my breathing, I am better able to regulate the
flow of energy around my body."
Inner and Outer Movement
Once Del has quieted his mind to be present
in the movement and established a breathing rhythm that allows spirit to
flow through his body, he focuses on his inner experience. "I call
this paying attention to inner and outer movement. Outer movement is the
activity I am doing. Am I walking, running, dancing or using the
stairmaster? Inner movement is what is coming up for me in the movement I
pay attention to what I am feeling. Am I sad, angry, bored, frustrated? Do
I have tension in any parts of my body?
By becoming aware to all of these cues,
next I play with these feelings. By learning how to exaggerate how we feel
we can see how we are and move through the feelings."
"As I am able to move through those inner
movements, meaning whatever is showing up for me, that will take me more
deeply into the activity I am doing. All I have to do is surrender into
the activity. I don't try to do it, I let the breathing and movement
synchronize themselves, so there is no struggle. There is just movement
and breathing happening naturally. And that's essentially what I mean by
learning to move the spirit through the body to touch the soul. I get to
the place where I say I am dancing with God. I am not trying. I am not
struggling. Everything is just happening naturally."
Fitness Is Not A Program: Its A Way Of Life
A lot of people get involved with fitness
for the end result, like to lose weight or change their body. Del finds
that people who are most successful are those people who are able to see
fitness as a process or journey, and not simply a means towards end
results. "People who can get involved in fitness for internal reasons
are most able to stay with their program and have it be a nurturing
experience. I use my exercise time to learn how to quiet the thinking mind
so I don't become too critical of what I do. It is an awesome thing to let
go of the immediacy of what you are doing and let the movement take over
and just go with it. Learning how to feel what is going on in the body as
you are doing it, focusing on your breathing and how it is energizing the
body will help the movement become a meditative experience. That is the
letting go."
Del told the story of one client who
succeeded in making fitness a way of life. She not only achieved her goal,
but also transformed her relationship with her life.
"A woman came to see me who has been
with me for three years. When she walked in she was overweight. She hated
how she looked. She never looked in the mirror. She wore big, baggy
clothes and was lost in her clothes. She was very unhappy. She'd never
smile. When she walked into my office she was very snappy. She'd
constantly complain about everything. But for some reason, she kept
coming.
"It took about a year of working with
her before anything changed. She began to change the way she ate and in
the process of four to six months she had lost quite a bit of weight. Her
relationship to her life was changing and her body was changing with it.
"If I look at what accounted for that
change, I would say that after the first year she made a commitment to
herself. She really decided she wanted to change her life. Not only did
she start doing other physical things outside of seeing me, but also she
started taking time with herself. She learned how to nurture herself. Her
life had been run by having to do things constantly. In the process of
working with her, being with her, guiding her and feeding her, something
finally clicked."
Some Key Messages
Dancing with God
is a beautiful, poetic and inspiring book, aesthetically pleasing as well
as mentally stimulating. Here are some of the key messages Del wishes to
impart:
1. Look at exercise as a time to be with yourself.
It can be a time of self-reflection, nurturing and self-care.
2. Use exercise as a vehicle to learn hew to
participate in something effortlessly. When we cease trying or doing, that
is when the dance begins. Movement comes to life when we flow with it.
3. Use the power of intention. The mindset we bring
to activity dictates the kind of experience we have.
4. .Motivation comes from meaningful action. Good
enough reasons for doing what it is we want to do will allow us to find
the commitment and dedication to do it. When I know why I am doing what I
am doing, it becomes a lot easier to find the discipline to do it,
especially when I don't feel like doing it.
5. Learn to enjoy the process. From there results
will come. Let fitness be a journey and an adventure.
Holding A Vision Of Possibility
Helping people make a commitment to
themselves and change their lives to create what they want is truly an
art. "You never know when working with people when something with
click," Del acknowledges. "They have to be ready."
The woman Del described in his previous
example got to a point where she was tired with her life. She wanted
something different: a richer, fuller life. "I hold a vision of
possibility when I work with people. I keep putting out what is possible
for them because they don't know what is possible themselves. I
communicate possibility to them. People don't know what they are capable
of when they haven't been there. Having someone else hold that vision for
them is very powerful.
"The people I consider successful in
integrating this whole fitness lifestyle can take it from doing work with
me and get involved with other things they have never dreamed of. This can
include physical challenges like 5K's, IOK's or marathons. Or it can be
transforming the rest of their lives."
____________________
Linda Marks, MSM, has practiced
heart-centered, psychospiritual body-centered psychotherapy for sixteen
years. She is founder of the Institute for Emotional-Kinesthetic
Psychotherapy in Newton, and author of LIVING WITH VISION: RECLAIMING
THE POWER OF THE HEART (Knowledge Systems, 1988). She has taught
and spoken nationally and internationally, and has been a leader in the
emerging field of somatic psychology. She lives in Newton, MA with
her four year old son, Alexander. Linda's new book EMBODYING THE
SOUL: DANCING INTO LIFE is due for release in the spring of 2001.
You can contact her at (617)965-7846 or LSMHEART@aol.com
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