Dear Laura,

I am a 62 year old grandma having a terrible time forgiving my mother and sister for some awful things that happened to us in the past, including sexual abuse. They continue to dismiss my attempts to discuss things and bring them out into the open. Contact with them is full of barbs, denial and pain. I have done a lot of work on myself to heal and understand, and yet this last piece with my family is still very hurtful. How can I ever get peace and move on? 

— JW

Dear JW,

You have made a lot of progress on yourself and seem ready to approach this from a different angle. Imagine your mother and sister as little children at the playground trying to play on the monkey bars — but not able to because they aren't mature enough yet. They're too small to even reach the bars, and there is nothing that they can to do to "speed up" the growth process.

In this image, you might feel a bit sorry for them that they are so ill-equipped. Let it stir up feelings of new understanding and compassion, as you would watching any child in that predicament. This is an analogy of soul development; the monkey bars represent a form of growth. Just because we are of a certain number of Earth years, doesn't mean diddley about being equipped to understand and use the "monkey bars" or any other equipment on the playground of life. These monkey bars are not better or worse than the swings or the slides or the see-saws. They are simply different and require different skills.

Your family members are not yet ready to use this particular piece of equipment. And they may never be in this lifetime. You, on the other hand, have a talent for the monkey bars. You're comfortable enough up there to have time to look around and notice who isn't.

You could choose to spend all your time attempting to speed up the development of your family members and try to help them get it, but since they don't believe they need your help, don't want your help, can't understand your help...why try?

Your only job is to work on you. Divine design says that each of us can only change ourselves. Take this newfound awareness, and move along, grateful that you are able to see this from a new point of view. Know and trust that everything is in divine order, despite appearances and that all is well. If you feel it swell up, take a deep breath in and let it go.

_____________________

Dear Laura,

I just learned that my cousin died. Apparently he was all alone and suffering with an illness. I feel just horrible thinking he had no one there and died alone. I could really use some comfort at this time. Thank you.

— BB

Dearest BB,

I am sorry for your shock and loss. His passing was mercifully fast, and thank goodness because the human condition can be full of enough suffering without having to bear extra at the "end".  We do have it all backwards, though. We should weep in pity at a soul's birth (ya’ got a lot of life years to wade > through ya’ poor thing!) and dance in joy at a souls graduation and transition time. Lucky them, they got to go home!

In reality, most of us die alone, although we are surrounded by an abundant array of guides, angels and loved ones who've gone on before us. We can't control death and dying for someone else. Even if you had flown to his bedside, there were no guarantees. Many loved ones vacate the body when a family member leaves the room for a brief cup of coffee, after hours and days of keeping a bedside vigil. I think this is more often the case then not. Know that your father has left all Earthly suffering behind and now swims and bathes eternal in the light.

_____________________

Dear Laura,

Every night around 3 am I wake up. Sometimes I feel like there is something "there" that has woken me and then I can't fall back to sleep. Is something there or am I losing it? 

—Sleepless in RI

Dear Sleepless,

I don't know you or your house personally, so I am going to answer this from a broader sense. It is very common to have contact with other worldly energy during the hours of 2 to 4 am because the Earth's atmosphere is the most heavy and damp at that time. The veil between worlds is thinner then and energy moves easier while the air is heavier. This is often the easiest time for a loved one on the other side to check in.

If all this wigs you out, don't worry. Create a bedtime ritual of saying your prayers, and add "knowing that I am perfectly surrounded by love and light, I surrender to sleep. I know that I am always watched over and protected. Only that of the highest and the best from (whoever your God force is) comes through." You can also cleanse the air with a lavender spray.

_____________________

Dear Laura,

Why do people get offended at someone wanting to offer something that may better their life?

—Just trying to help

Dear Just Trying,

Because they didn't ask for your help. And who are you to say that one life is better than another? There's nothing worse than unsolicited advice pointing out how silly, stupid, foolish, unwise, unlucky, unproductive, unhealthy, etc., that someone thinks you are. Your intentions, however good, are completely inappropriate. It's time for you to learn more about boundaries. Your job as a soul is to work on you and you alone. A desire to tell everyone around you to "fix this" and "change that" is really a statement about you yourself being out of balance and unhappy.

The deal is you can only work on you. You'll find that when done properly, it's a 24/7 job that leaves you no time to work on anyone else! This is not the answer you wanted, but it is the one that you were ultimately seeking. There are also some excellent flower essences for helping to balance these types of personalities and support deeper change.

_____________________

Dear Laura,

A woman says she is a healer and can cure my terrible shyness if I give her $300. I am in need of help but am unsure. She prays and attends church so maybe I can trust her. What do you think?

—HG

Dear HG,

Do not give this person your money. This is how charlatans and thieves make money. Good practitioners have references. They have set fees and schedules for sessions. They do not tell you they can "cure" you. Only you and God have the power to do that. If you feel you are having numerous problems and need to talk, a good professional will help you find answers, tools and clues. The good ones will even tell you when they can't help you rather than waste your time or money. Find an established practitioner who will treat you with the dignity and respect you deserve. There are no shortcuts.

_____________________

Dear Laura,

I believe in reincarnation but what about my pets? Do dogs reincarnate as dogs? Or cats as cats? Could my deceased loved ones reincarnate as my next pet or do people always reincarnate as people and dogs as dogs, etc.? If my dog dies, I was told I could ask for him to come back to me again as a new pet. Is this true?

— going around and around

Dear Going Around,

This is a set of philosophical questions, and the answers will vary depending on who you ask and what their belief model is. Different regions of the world vary as well. My experience is that people reincarnate as people and not as animals. I have heard of one exception — dolphins — highly evolved mammals who fall under a different set of energetic theories. For the most part, animals are not here working as closely on soul growth as we are, and therefore they don't come in with a lot of "stuff" to work out. They are here to help us learn about unconditional love and ourselves, and therefore really are here for us in the truest sense.

Humans reincarnate to keep "working on it." Animals don't have anything like that to work on. Therefore, if a beloved pet crosses over, there would be no need for them to come back, other than our own limited or self-oriented desires. Don't worry though; they do come around often and hang out from the other side and fully expect to greet you in the tunnel and beyond.

_____________________

Dear Laura,

I keep having a dream about a monkey. When I looked it up in dream books, I felt even more confused. What does the monkey mean?

— a friend of Jane Goodall

Dear Friend,

Fear not! Although countless authors feel they have an exclusive handle on dream interpretation, I use a different approach. I believe that elements in dreams mean something uniquely different to each and every person by design. After all, if each of us is as unique as our own fingerprint, then clearly when it comes to dream interpretation, one size doesn't fit all.

Get a pen and paper and write down the answers to the following questions: What does a monkey represent to you? (ie., the circus, childhood, zoo, science, etc.) How do you feel when you see the monkey? (ie., happy, worried, depressed, scared, etc.) How is the monkey behaving? (ie., docile, aggressive, pensive, oblivious, etc.) Does the monkey have human behaviors? (ie., talking, crying, laughing, etc.) Where is the setting of the dream? (ie., work, home, outdoors, etc.)

Now look at what you have written and ask yourself if there is something going on in your life that could relate to this monkey imagery. Use a series of personal questions like these to help you interpret your dream imagery.

(And if that doesn't work, cut out the bananas before bedtime).

__________________

Laura Scott is an internationally renown psychic, spiritual teacher and channel for healing. She is the author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Divining the Future, and creator of the Ancient Stardust Directional Cards and the Ancient Stardust Progress Journal. Her mission is to help people with the work of the soul and provide insight on their life journey.

Ask Laura is a published advice column imparting spiritual advice for yourself, your neighbor, pets, family matters, dreams, work situations, health, relationships, and more. Questions are evaluated for use on an overall basis for helping others. If you have something that you would like to ask Laura, send your brief question to: AskLaura@ancientstardust.com.

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