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Soulful
Surrender: Why Illusions Of Separateness, Attachment And Control Affect
Our Willingness To Surrender
by Grace Ross
For some, the idea of surrender is a difficult one – it conjures up
images of loss of control, giving authority over to someone else, forgoing
pleasure, or even giving up responsibility for living a purposeful life.
Surrender is a word we associate with the battlefield, of “crying
Uncle” in a wrestling match, or of allowing a bully to take control.
The reality of soulful surrender, however, has little to do with these
violent images. Soulful surrender is about entering a state of grace –
of living in harmony and attunement with the qualities of our higher Self.
It is one of recognizing where the human ego creates fears and limiting
beliefs about who we are, and deciding nonetheless to speak and live from
a deeper, at times mysterious, truth.
Certain beliefs tend to block our willingness to surrender on the soul
level: We conjure up images of a divine puppeteer who decides our
fate irrespective of our wishes; others maintain that it is unsafe to let
go of ego-control; others assert that life events are the result of
“chance, fate or coincidence;” and still others find it hard to
conceive of the notion that we are all connected at a spiritual level.
In many ways it is not a surprise that we are afraid of losing our
individual sense of control. We spend much of our life trying to build a
strong sense of self. In fact, it is a necessary stage of our soul journey
to develop a sense of confidence and self-esteem in relation to the world.
The ego helps us to have influence, direction and control in a world that
believes in the separated self.
The ego’s main illusion is that we are separate independent beings, both
from each other and from Spirit. This belief supports the evolutionary
idea of survival of the fittest and the need for hierarchy and power over
others. For a time, the more we accumulate and the more power we assume
gives a sense of greater security.
The ego’s main purpose is to survive and it does so by nurturing
attachments to possessions, personal beliefs and relationships. All loss
(even the loss of an idea or belief) is seen as a threat to survival of
the ego. From the ego’s perspective, competition, and self-interest are
absolutely necessary to maintain survival.
However, as one matures along a soul centred path, we start to see that
attachment to the individual ego’s needs creates increasing
dissatisfaction. The satisfaction of accomplishment/power and material
accumulation is at best temporary - there is a continual threat of someone
else’s ego who also wants to accomplish, have power or accumulate
possessions. There is no end to this fear, both on a personal and societal
level. The idea of surrender to a less conscious, soulful part of us stirs
up these very fears while, at the same time, offering a new paradigm of
being that bypasses all these fears.
The promise of soulful surrender makes available gifts that allow for the
fullest expression of who we are as spirit beings in a human body.
Surrender means living in attunement with a divine Source and the
opportunity to co-create and live out the qualities of Spirit that channel
through us.
Surrender nurtures a sense of harmony and connection to others. We find
that discernment, wisdom and deep knowing begin to replace judgement and
criticism. Fear itself is replaced by deep, abiding faith that everything
is proceeding according to Divine plan. A natural compassion and deep
willingness to alleviate suffering replaces the need for power and
striving. Competition is replaced by cooperation, fair play and
forgiveness. There is a new sense of knowing your own truth and an ability
to express your truth without fear. As you give up the illusion of
separateness, you develop deeper emotional intimacy in the awareness of
the unity of all beings and a new and deep sense of belonging. A sense of
contentment with what is and living in the Now replaces fear for the
future.
_____________________
Grace Ross is the founder/director
of the Soulground Centre in Toronto Ontario, where she works as a
soul-based psychotherapist, spiritual teacher and wilderness guide. She
weaves together therapeutic approaches from depth psychology, energy
healing, and nature based wisdom traditions. A gifted intuitive, Grace
uses her clairvoyant skills to offer insights for healing. Contact her at graceross@rogers.com
or visit her website at www.soulground.com
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