The one incident that illustrates our relationship occurred during the final days of his life. Motor lay on the picnic table one day, where I told him that he was my son, that I loved him. He nuzzled my cheek in response. It was then that I realized that the felt the same.

At this point I began to wonder just what type of relationship do we share with our four footed friends? What type of bond is it?  Is it pet-owner, parental or co-dependent?  Which one of the three or is it all of them? After observing other cat owners and talking to them. I’ve discovered that the pet/owner theory is a thing of the past.

There are only two types of bonds that currently exist. They are the parental (mother/child) and co-dependent (equal) relationship.  However, these exist at a variety of times during the life of the feline.  Also, it depends heavily on their unique personality.

All of us have a paternal instinct whether you are male or female. How many times have our hearts gone out to abandon cats or kittens or to feline mothers who have recently given birth? They are so cute when they are babies that we want to take them home to be a part of our family. This is when the paternal bonds begin to develop.

With your encouragement they will begin to explore, their world. When they do the kittens are aware that they have a safe haven to return to.

Even society’s dialog reinforces this type of bond. Don’t we think of them as our children? How often have you heard cat owners make the following statements?

1. How is your little girl or boy?
2. How are your kids doing?
3. Oh I love my kids.

We’re all guilty of this, including myself. So as you can see even the vocabulary indicates that many human companions view the relationship with their feline friends as a parental bond. But so do the cats.

Animal behaviorists refer to cat kneading as an action that reminds them of when they were young.  It is a reminder of when they felt safe, happy and comfort with their mom. Your feline friend is paying you a compliment; he is in effect calling you momma.

This bond is strongly evident during the holiday season. Pet supplies stores jump in sales while we look for the right gift for our pet. We spend the time searching for that appropriate gift. This way on Christmas morning they too have something to open. How could you forget your baby at this time of year?

Would you dare leave one of your children out of their special Santa surprise?

Whereas, the relationship with your older feline may change as they get older. It becomes a co-dependent/equal relationship because the two of you share a bond based on love.

During a time of crisis the both of you will provide endless hours of comfort. It could be an illness where your companion remains by side or vice a versa, or seeing each other through losses. The two of you are there for reach other.

Our friendship provides emotional support for both partners in this relationship. If it’s human companion has a heartache your feline will cry and purr reminding you that you are loved. The same can be said when our feline companion needs affection; it will seek us out. They are the first ones to give a quiet meow when you walk through the door. However with the existence of this bond you can talk to each other but no words need to be spoken.

Each feline is a mystery with their unique personality. They help add to your world joy, love and friendship.  Do they own us?  Do we own them? I don’t think that is possible. When it comes to love there is no owner at all just companionship. I’ve learned my lesson.  Motor taught me, no, that there is neither. As long as the two of us listen with open ears as well as open hearts, we live together as companions loving each other.

__________________