The year was 1957. Dr. Seuss wrote Cat in the Hat, Humphry Bogart died. West Side Story opened in New York City, and I was born. A premature baby, I came screaming into the world six weeks early—a full 3 Ibs. 2 oz.

In a way, I've waited 40 years to tell this painful odyssey. And although there are many other similar stories filled with similar pain and trauma, this is my story.

While I cannot be sure exactly what happened on that cold, early December morning, I do know the following: my mother was caught unaware of the impending birth of her child; she felt enormous pain, was asked if she would like to be given a sedative and put to sleep. Her next recollection was of the loss of her child and the emptiness in her heart. My mother wanted to bond with her baby, but couldn't.

Her child remembers nothing but knows it all. This was a painful, forceful birth. Where once things had been mildly blissful and safe, suddenly nothing was safe and it was time to move on. Safety from death was an issue right from the start. But this angelic, blessed baby would defy all odds. With survival as the task at hand, this baby would survive, and admirably. With the odds against her, medical methods primitive, and knowledge about preemies at a minimum, her first six weeks were not a pleasurable hotel-stay, but rather an abrasion of life. Her stay was not about ample hand and arm-holding, endless kisses and extended visitations. Instead, her stay consisted of solitude in an incubator with little movement or touch. With modern medicine and methodologies following the 50's version of thought, to move was to harm, to touch would not be accepted and to leave alone would ensure full maturation to full-term. And so, for six weeks she stayed.

Angry at first, rageously angry at the world for giving life and then taking (the joy of) it away, she protested bottle feeding and would later only acquiesce to a small eye dropper for food. It remains to be seen if outside the glass the world was cooing and oohing way at her tiny features, adorable face and gentle soul. But by the time of her release, gentle and peaceful had long been replaced by anger, hunger and loss. If abandonment had been imprinted on her soul before this time and place, it was now rigidly affixed to her heart. And if joy and pleasure were the life-blood of her contemporaries, her world would quickly play out to a different drum. Indeed, a series of occurrences involving more abandonment and lack of bonding would result in a lifetime of trying to heal pain, suffering and loneliness. Where some others could attest to bonding with their mothers/fathers/siblings and know an inner knowing of mirroring, understanding and comfort, to this child, all others did not (her), could not see (her) and could not love and reach her. Only her talents, intelligence and inner resolve could overcome her overwhelming inner fear and disconnection from the world. The daily routine involved survival and will. Everyday occurrences left her bewildered and frightened. Natural impulses seemed foreign and disconnected.

I tell my story for a few reasons: if ever a person could question whether birth experiences set the tone for life, this story tells it all. If ever one's daily experiences and relationships could be traced to early experiences, this too, states it plainly. And if ever one should question "soul" experiences, I am sure this one falls right into "place." But, while my experience is important to me (and should be expressed), it is the wave of the future and the state of the present which demand equal (if not more) attention.

Today, this same baby would be faced with some new options. Premature babies are handled with the utmost technological and medical care. At present, babies can survive at 27-28 weeks; even those as young as 24 weeks are surviving and living fairly normal lives. Some hospitals and birthing centers are attempting to address the personal and emotional issues accompanying birth. "Today's environment is more 'baby friendly,"' said Parent Infant Education Specialist Jolene Pearson, "and tries to recreate the womb environment. These days you realize parents are more crucial to the process... more of the family is involved in the process. It is still a risky situation, but these days it's more in favor of, 'Yes, you can [survive]."' And while the quality of medical care has far surpassed the total care of the newborn, birth trauma still remains a mysterious, clearly misunderstood and unaddressed area of new life. Awareness of this issue has come quietly, slowly and with much protest.

According to Maureen Wolfe, Executive Director of the (California-based non-profit) Association of Pre-and Peri-Natal Psychology and Health, society has not made enough strides in this area. "In most hospitals, babies are still separated from their mothers at birth...this is tantamount to losing their survival," she said. (The reasons for separation also include pre-birth trauma, adoption, and drug abuse by the mother.) "Yes, babies survive, but it is not without consequences. People discount the fact that babies are developing psychology at that early age."

Among the external methods Ms. Wolfe cites as lessening birth traumas include massage, encouraging mother/baby bonding and early verbal communication. However, she emphasizes that there is little mention of pre-natal bonding or the psychological development of the baby in utero, and that those in the medical establishment who are more mindful of those issues are in the minority — a statement that is reiterated by Joann O'Leary, Parent Infant Education Specialist, MPH, MS for the Abbott Northwestern Hospital in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

"The first part of me wants to say it's not different [than in the 1950s]," said Ms. O'Leary. But we have worked very hard in our own high risk unit to talk to pre-natal babies, focus on mothers who have had miscarriages and become pregnant again, and on those babies who have died [prematurely]. Birth trauma exists and is real," she said.

The program focuses on encouraging parents to create a 'birth plan detailing what they want in the birth experience; encouraging constant communication with the pre-natal baby throughout the actual birth, or, in some cases, through premature death; and increasing awareness that the mother's physical and psychological changes during pregnancy can reflect the baby in utero. "This is a totally different way of healing," said Ms. O'Leary. "The babies sometimes help the parents through how the birth will be. ..it is respecting that these babies have feelings too," she said.

With this approach, a traditional Caesarean pregnancy is turned into a full relationship between baby and mother (and family), with the mother explaining why this procedure has taken place, reassuring that baby of its place in time. This is about empowering babies and their families, said Ms. O'Leary. To date, the hospital has produced a video, published a few booklets by parents regarding the birthing experience, and offers one and three-day workshops and intensive seminars on related subjects. Emphasis is placed on enhancing the parent-infant relationship through support groups, therapy, and one-on-one. Issues explored include how to cope with stress, examining how families view the babies, and, in the case of preemies, reinforcing the concept and usage of "corrected age" when examining the infant's development.

A part from isolated groups and hospitals/birthing centers nationwide, there is a variety of literature available detailing nearly every aspect of prenatal births, the birthing experience and birth traumas. Books like Kangaroo Care, The Secret Life of the Unborn Child, and Birth Relationships explore everything from preemies physical and mental health (at birth) to the state of babies in utero and how birth affects relationships. Today's premature baby is given the fruits of many scientific studies. Following the pioneering bonding work of Drs. Jon Dennell and Marshall Klaus, it has been proven that "bonding infants" grow into more self-sufficient, outgoing youngsters than their counterparts who were taken from their mothers immediately after birth. Hospitals routinely practicing Kangaroo Care (giving babies to mothers after birth) and the international and national studies accompanying them show marked, encouraging results for the babies involved. Today, it is commonplace to find "cuddlers" in more neonatal intensive care units.

In birthing centers and hospitals, mothers are now encouraged to bond with their children and provide, if not constant touch, that at least constant verbal communication and presence. In addition, a whole industry of support services has sprung up to help lessen birth traumas and difficult and premature births — physical therapy, massage therapy, lactation counseling during the early years; rebirthing, spiritual and emotional counseling, physical/massage/talk therapy, etc. for the later years.

However small these strides, the overall larger tide may be slowly turning according to some experts. "Things are slowly changing around the edges," reports clinical psychologist David Chamberlain, author of more than 35 papers on birth-related topics and the author of Babies Remember Birth. "What we know about babies is now challenging the old paradigm. We have dozens of [studies] to prove [birth's consequences], but we have people who don't believe it. They think that[ birth] pain is necessary, but that it won't affect the baby," he said. "There is a growing sensitivity to the fact that a newborn is somehow more 'real' than it used to be [perceived as], but not with preemies—they [still] think that these babies have less brain to interpret from."

And what will it take to truly effect great change in the methodologies and thought of birthing and birth trauma? "Hundreds of thousands of people," said Chamberlain; "it will take the 'critical masses' to turn it around."

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Cyma Shapiro-Roland is a writer and journalist with a passion for holistic health, spirituality and music. She can be reached at 860-521-2778 or Isuzus@aol.com. She welcomes your feedback.

This article was originally published in Spirit of Change Magazine—not to be confused with OfSpirit.com Holistic "Internet" Magazine & Resource. We thank Spirit of Change, New England's Premiere Holistic "Print" magazine, for allowing us to give new life to this article and share it with OfSpirit.com visitors for education, entertainment and empowerment.
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