Grief And Belief Connection
by Bob Olson, OfSpirit.com Editor
"Grief is healing: To take
away our grief is to take away our healing. And learning about life after
death helps us heal with greater hope, comfort and peace."
~ Bob Olson
In approximately eight years of
investigating the possibility of life after death, I have discovered
convincing evidence that there really is an afterlife, that we really do
continue to exist after death, and that our loved ones continue to watch
over us and guide us in the spirit world. But this is just the beginning
of my discoveries.
More recently, after
sharing this evidence with thousands of people around the world through my
books, websites and articles, I have recognized a direct connection
between one's level of grief and one's level of belief in an afterlife. I
call it The Grief And Belief Connection.
always believe in life after death. In the past, whenever I would lose a
loved one to disease, tragedy or suicide, I would always wonder if an
afterlife existed. But thinking about the possibility of life after death
never eased my grief because I was a skeptic. In fact, I was the worst
kind of skeptic— a cynical one. This didn’t mean my mind was closed to
the idea of life after death, but I needed evidence. Yet the intangible
and mystical quality of the evidence for an afterlife only instigated my
cynical skepticism even more.
private investigator with a degree in Criminology, evidence was my world.
When I investigated murders, the courts only cared about the evidence I
uncovered that proved or disproved the accused’s guilt. When I handled
domestic investigations, clients hired me to obtain photographic and
videographic evidence of their cheating spouses. And when I investigated
personal injury cases, lawyers hired me to obtain witness statements,
photographs and material evidence to present at trial. So it shouldn’t
come as a surprise that I was suspicious, to say the least, of the vague
metaphysical evidence that exists for an afterlife.
strongest evidence for an afterlife consists of the following (all of
which I found critically lacking in credibility): psychic mediums who
claim to communicate with spirits, individuals who believe they had a
near-death experience, hypnotic regressionists who declare a method for
past-life travel, and individuals who believe to have experienced an
after-death communication from a loved one in spirit. Such outrageous
claims appeared less as evidence of life after death and more as naïve
nonsense from people who either need extra attention in their lives or
need something supernatural to increase their faith. To this P.I. the
evidence amounted to a bunch of hooey.
visited a psychic medium who turned my life upside-down. My brother-in-law
had insisted she was legitimate, so I became fixed on proving her a phony.
I booked an appointment for a one-hour reading. The one hour turned into
three, me sobbing like a lost child for half of it. The evidence was too
overwhelming, the details too accurate. My belief that such evidence was
unbelievable rapidly crumbled.
spirit messenger delivered names, dates and memories about my life she
could not possible have known: that I played a saxophone solo in my middle
school band concert; that my birthday was in May and that my father died
during that month, that my mother’s name was Carol, my sister’s name
was Bonnie and my wife’s name was Melissa; that I was considering
getting a dog, specifically a yellow lab; and that I had a brother named
Brian who wasn’t really my brother (Brian was my cousin who moved in
with my family when he was ten and I was thirteen because his parents died
in a plane crash). And yes, she knew about the plane crash, too.
day, the medium still has no idea why she kept going that day beyond the
normal one-hour reading. Yet by the end of the third hour, the evidence of
an afterlife was stacked too high for me to remain in my skeptical denial.
This stranger-medium could not possibly have guessed all these details
about my life. She had to be getting her information from spirit. No, not
just any spirit—my father. Only he knew the details of the messages she
conveyed, or should I say, relayed.
Not even Melissa, my wife whom I began dating when I was fifteen years
old, knew all the details of these secret memories. They were private,
sacred to me. I had not shared them with anyone, not even in a journal.
been a recently published author at the time, I decided to launch an
investigation into life after death as the basis for my next book,
beginning with mediumship. I wasn’t hasty. I spent four years
researching and experiencing the metaphysical, always maintaining the
healthy skepticism I had developed as a private eye. Over the course of
those four years, I received over one hundred readings from some of the
best psychic mediums in the world. I met credible people with believable
stories of near-death experience, and learned there are thousands of
documented cases that all tell similar accounts of their afterlife
journey. I even had my own successful past-life regression, stupefying me
with not just the unexplainable knowledge I had about that past lifetime
but also the physical and emotional roller-coaster ride I suffered during
four years of limitless interviews, research and personal experiences, I
found myself asking, “What’s the purpose?” How does this evidence
help people? The significance got lost in my hurry to find the answers.
Now that I had them, I forgot the question. I even wondered if I was being
irresponsible by exposing the public to my discoveries through my writing
and speaking. Then, all at once, people started dying—nobody close to
me, but rather, people I knew through other people. And the answer I
sought hit me like machine gun fire over the course of about ten months.
friend, Kelly, lost her husband, Rick, at the age of 35 when a truck hit
his car. He had pulled over on the highway to answer his cell phone,
ironically for safety’s sake. He left Kelly and two children under the
age of five. After the funeral and burial, I saw Kelly at the restaurant.
She came at me like a wave, embracing me like she had been eager to speak
with me all day.
you have no idea,” Kelly began with a peaceful glimmer, “I am so
grateful for the reading I had with that psychic medium a month ago. It
has helped me get through this, knowing that Rick is still here, that he
is all right. I talk to him and he has given me strength to get through
this,” she acknowledged.
weeks later my wife, Melissa, and I got an email from Kelly’s brother,
Danny, and his wife, Caroline (my sister-in-law). They wanted to thank
Melissa and I for the spiritual insights they had learned through us from
our work with psychic mediums. Our influence had got them to watch John
Edward’s TV show, Crossing Over With
John Edward, quite regularly before the accident. They wrote
that Rick’s death was somehow easier to deal with due to what they had
year our friend, Mary, lost her sister, Dianne. Mary had been to see one
of my recommended psychic mediums a few months prior. She hugged me
tightly in the receiving line at the wake, declaring her knowing
that her sister was not dead, but was alive in spirit. Knowing
is level of belief that results from learning about the afterlife and
seeing, hearing or experiencing the evidence personally until you
“know” it is true… real. Mary looked forward to hearing from Dianne
at her next reading.
months later my other sister-in-law, Jen, lost her grandmother. Nana was
possibly her closest friend and mentor. At the funeral, Jen shared with me
that she still talks with Nana all the time—because of what she learned
through my work. She knows Nana is still with her. Jen told me she is glad
Nana had the opportunity to read my book and attend an event I gave with
five psychic mediums. Jen believes these things helped Nana with her
testimonials of Kelly, Danny, Caroline, Mary and Jen had a message for me:
Learning about the afterlife gives hope, comfort and peace to the
grieving. I now recognized that people’s grief is affected by this
evidence regardless of whether they learn about the afterlife before or
after they lose someone close to them.
coincidence of all these testimonials coming within such a short span of
time was not lost on me. But just to be sure the message sunk into my
thick skull, spirit orchestrated a grand-finale of messages from behind
the ethereal veil. I received twenty-two rapid-fire emails from strangers
all over the world with similar messages as those from Kelly, Danny,
Caroline, Mary and Jen, thanking me for my book and articles on the
afterlife. Okay, I got it; learning about life after death helps people
with their grief.
I developed the premise that there is a direct connection between one’s
level of belief (in an afterlife) and one’s level of grief. So I took
surveys, interviewed experts, eavesdropped conversations and spied
Internet chat-rooms. It was unanimous: belief and grief are connected. The
evidence was extensive, though unscientific. I had learned to accept that
about the spiritual. Proof is subjective. Some people need more evidence
than others before they believe. I understand. I was once one of those
discovered The Grief And Belief Connection. While spiritual insight about
life after death will not eliminate your grief, it can change your
grieving experience from one of hopelessness, distress and fear to one of
hope, comfort and peace. It is the difference between wondering where your
deceased loved has gone, feeling a loss of connection with them and
worrying if they are still suffering—OR—knowing your loved one is
safely surrounded by the light and love of God, understanding that they
are watching over you and can hear you speak to them, and believing that
they are not suffering, but rather, celebrating their homecoming
with those who had crossed over before them.
approximately five years of investigation, these are my conclusions. For me,
it has made all the difference, which is why I have now shared them with
Author / Editor
more information and resources visit www.GriefAndBelief.com.
articles by Bob Olson, visit www.ofspirit.com/bobolson.htm