|
SELECT
FROM OVER
60 CATEGORIES
- Click One To View - |
|
|
Sign Up
for our Newsletter
& Automatically be Entered
to Win Books, CDs & DVDs! |
|
|
|
|
Links
For Health, Prosperity & Joy! |
CONTACT
YOUR LOVED
ONES IN SPIRIT! Genuine
&
Legitimate Spirit Messengers
Listed
By PSYCHIC MEDIUM
RESEARCHER! (Editor's choice) |
BEST
PSYCHIC DIRECTORY:
Locate Psychics & Mediums In
Your Area With Reviews From
People Who've Had Readings! |
Discover
Your Ideal Mate,
Perfect Career, Life's Destiny,
Health Forecast & Past Lives
With Recommended Astrologer,
Elizabeth Hermon (Editor's pick)! |
Who
Were You In A
PAST LIFE? Find Out
From Regression
Expert
Nancy Canning! |
THE
SECRET TO ELIMINATING
THE ROOT Of
Your Problems:
Physical
Social Or Financial,
With
Dr. Trish Whynot! |
CHANGE
YOUR LIFE NOW! Take
Your Spiritual Growth to a New
Level with the
Channeled
Guidance of
Ascended Masters
- Read about Laura Scott's Gift! |
Gifted
Medium & Spirit
Artist,
Rita Berkowitz,
Can Give You
Tangible
EVIDENCE THAT AN
AFTERLIFE EXISTS - She Draws
Portraits of the Spirits She Sees! |
Crystal
Clarity: How To Expose
The HIDDEN
OBSTACLES
LURKING
In Your Subconscious
Mind! (click here to read article)! |
The
Psychic Medium Who Is
RECOMMENDED BY TOP
PSYCHIC
MEDIUMS - Find Out
Who by Reading This Article
Written by
OfSpirit.com's Editor! |
INSPIRED
GATHERINGS in
Kennebunkport, Maine offers
Transformational Workshops
that will Inspire, Educate and
possibly Change Your Life! |
The
PSYCHIC MEDIUM WHO
RAISED THE BAR, Making It
Harder For Other Mediums To
Qualify For Best Psychic
Mediums List ! (Editor's article) |
IF
ANGELS COULD GUIDE US
DIRECTLY, THIS IS WHAT THEY
WOULD SAY. How To Get The
Answers You Seek From Spirit
& Energy (Editor's Article) |
Why
Are Your Family Members,
Friends & Pets in Your Life?
Discover THE PURPOSE BEHIND
YOUR RELATIONSHIPS with
the Soul Contract Intuitive. |
See
ACTUAL VIDEO FOOTAGE
of PSYCHIC MEDIUM Bee Herz
Communicating with a Woman's
Deceased Loved Ones in Spirit
& Tapping Into Her Future ! |
Resource on GRIEF & THE
AFTERLIFE By the Founder
of Both OfSpirit.com &
BestPsychicMediums.com! |
Learn
about NEAR-DEATH
EXPERIENCE on the Number 1
Resource on OUT OF BODY
Experience After Death! |
WANT
TO BE INSPIRED?
Join
The Spiritual Cinema Circle,
a Cool, Fun & Affordable Way to
Transform Your Life w/ Movies |
NY
Times Best-Selling Author
CHERYL RICHARDSON is Host
of the Hay House Radio Show
"Coach on Call" - click 4 website |
Recommended
MOVIES Now On
DVD & Video For Your Personal
& Spiritual Growth - Selected
By OfSpirit.com Staff |
HAY
HOUSE RADIO Offers
Live Radio Shows with Louise
Hay, Alan Cohen, Caroline Myss
Joan Borysenko, Bruce Lipton,
Wayne Dyer & Debbie Ford |
The
PSYCHIC MEDIUM Who
Got TEN TIMES MORE Positive
Reviews Than Over 400 Other
Psychics & Mediums--Cheryl
Anne McGill (Editor's Article) |
OMEGA
INSTITUE for Holistic
Studies has Been a Trusted
Source for Wellness & Personal
Growth Since 1977 |
The
MONROE INSTITUTE Offers
Experiential Education Programs
for Personal Exploration of
Human Consciousness! |
Victor
Zammit is a Lawyer
who Presents EVIDENCE for
LIFE AFTER DEATH & What
Happens When We Die -
Check Out this Cool Website! |
Spirituality
Under Surveillance:
A FORMER SKEPTIC & PRIVATE
INVESTIGATOR EXPLORES
Practitioners, Products &
Seminars in the Spiritual Field! |
The
Most Popular
Category
Of Sixty
On OfSpirit.com -
The
"Psychic & Mediums"
Page - Click To View! |
KRIPALU
CENTER for Yoga &
Health has been Offering
Mind, Body & Spirit Education
for More than 30 Years |
Take
an Online Test to Discover
Your Life's Purpose, Created by
the Author of "Way Of The
Peaceful Warrior," Dan Millman |
|
|
|
Get
our Magazine
by Email & Be Eligible for
our Free Book Giveaway
by Clicking Here!
|
SELECT
FROM OVER
60 CATEGORIES
- Click One To View - |
| |
Loving Without Losing Yourself
by Allie Ochs
You are in love and it feels wonderful. This love is different and you are prepared to do anything to make it last. To prevent this ship from sinking, you work hard to steer this relationship into a safe harbor. In the process, you lose yourself and your romantic relationship becomes all-consuming!
When Kyra fell head-over-heels for Dan, she went out of her way to create a wonderful relationship. She found herself at hockey games, watching horror movies, at parties with his friends and on vacations with his family.
At home, things were not much different. Kyra cooked his favorite meals, kept house the way he wanted and listened to music of his choice. On Dan’s advice, Kyra cut her hair short, wore less make-up and a conservative wardrobe. She had even given up her night classes because they cut into their dinnertime. For Dan, this relationship was perfect. In an effort to not disappoint him, Kyra lived in constant anxiety. She had adapted to his lifestyle, defended his views and even began to talk like him. Kyra’s friends witnessed her change from a spirited and happy woman to a subdued and pleasing personality. This relationship had sucked the life out of Kyra, yet she was the last to notice.
While compromise in a relationship is a necessary ingredient for it’s success, denying the core of who you are is not. When you finally realize that an all-consuming relationship is depleting you, there will be nothing left but resentment. It will be difficult to reclaim yourself while remaining in that same relationship. The outcome of such a relationship is usually a heart-breaking crisis, with no one but you to blame.
The opposite of an all-consuming relationship is a half-hearted relationship. In this relationship you withhold affection until the evidence is in that the other is hooked. I love you if you love me first has become a common trend. Fearing that you will give more love than you receive, you put your partner on probation and control the power in this relationship. You judge according to your expectations and keep track of his or her scores. The higher the scores, the more you are willing to reward with love. This conditional view creates tremendous emotional insecurity.
All-consuming or halfhearted relationships are very unnatural and unhealthy. Ironically, both types are guided by fear. In an all-consuming relationship, fear of not being loved is the driving force. In a halfhearted relationship, fear of being hurt prevents you from knocking down protective walls.
Is there a happy medium? To love wholeheartedly without losing yourself requires a very different perspective of relationships. Even though you know that relationships require work, deep down you cling to a sweet illusion that meeting the right person is all it takes. You will then take off on your magic carpet ride. Think again! Soon that magic rug will be pulled from underneath you.
If you long for a partner who is wholeheartedly behind you, ask yourself, "Are you the same partner? Do you give that which you seek in your relationship?" Ironically, many lack the qualities they seek in their partners. Listen to your heart and when it feels right, feel the fear and love anyway. Love without hesitation and with all you heart. Don’t let your fear of rejection or getting hurt kill your desires or steal your dreams. You may have stared in the face of love before and maybe chickened-out. Next time, don’t be a chicken!
If you are in a relationship of love, here is a universal truth: Love is choice, and if you choose it wholeheartedly, you are never going to lose it. Love teaches you to become a better human being. Restore your faith in love and become emotionally available to each other. Put your fears and your past behind you and become lovable by being loving. Learn to trust by trusting yourself.
Surrendering to love does not mean losing yourself. Yet, even when it is safe to open your heart, you may feel weakened by the anxiety that this love will disappear.
When in love, how do you preserve your identity and course in life? Here is the number one reason for losing yourself in a relationship: Your belief that love is something you either deserve or not! This misguided belief leads you toward counterproductive efforts to do almost anything to get love and even more to hold onto it...
· You modify your identity to gain approval and love from your partner.
· You hold back intimacy to protect your vulnerability.
· You have a need to manipulate your partner.
There is nothing you have to be or do to earn love. When it is love, there is very little you can do to destroy it. If you can believe that, you will accept that...
· You can be loved even if you are not perfect
· You can be loved while keeping your course in life
· You can be loved without getting lost in love
Love is the most powerful human lesson you will ever learn. It is a purposeful interdependence through which you become so much more than on your own. Once you can understand that love is not something to be found, rather, it is in you to be shared, you can love wholeheartedly without fear. Don’t turn your back on love every time it touches you, because when you give up on love you give up on yourself.
© Allie Ochs 2004
___________________
Allie Ochs, Relationship Expert, Coach, Speaker and the Author of “Are You Fit To Love?” ISBN 0-9720227-9-1. Her articles are published in numerous magazines and newsletters. Visit her website at
www.fit2love.com
|
|
